I felt so small. This has been my feeling since I entered the Graduate School as I pursue my Master’s Degree. I’m starting to think that from the moment I entered the University, the balance I was supposed to do in my life had fallen into depth that I cannot grasp well and carry around. I was and I believe still am a ‘go with the flow’ person. If I cannot do it, then I will just let it be up to my remaining skills to polish it. That was conflict to how the university and the undergrad students work which I found so superior. I felt like I didn’t belong. It was when I started to change my attitude which was not so me. The feeling of being inferior went strong when I lost someone dear to me. Why am I like this? I never have done good. And now, as I’m doing my thesis proposal which would probably be my real thesis, I feel so unprepared. I still lack the skills and maybe my level is still at the collegiate. I’m just fortunate to have a UP cum laude classmate who helps me in times of difficulty, but I guess I should be doing this thesis on my own.