Bitter or Better (Part II?)

Is it true that you could only be godly creative when you have an inspiration? I believe it’s true for some compositions like love poems, tragic events, or ecstatic memories. How about this composition? Is it because I’m still hurt that I’ve been blogging things that were all in my mind? Maybe. I guess because I’ve been trying to overcome this feeling of being bitter so I searched this composition I made in year 2009. I originally wrote it on an intermediate pad paper since I was in college back then and I handed it over to soon-to-be love/r Belle McMesa (now former love/r.) We were seatmates that time and I was asking her if she ever had asked herself ‘are you bitter or better?’ I wrote ‘bitter or better’ within our class hours and I decided to give it to her (I cannot remember why.) She posted my composition as a blog entry on multiply and we were already in a relationship that time. Since the site has already been taken down by the administration, I just looked for the e-mail notification of multiply on my yahoo account. After hours of searching I finally found it. Here’s the copy of the blog entry of Belle McMesa:


Bitter or Better? by Jasper Timola ü Apr 7, ’09 4:05 PM
for everyone
Bitter or Better 
by Jasper Timola;
inspired by Belle McMesa (really?)
Are you still bitter? or already getting better?
How will you know?
Well, once there was this one special girl
She taught me the basics
Then when we were getting deeper
She taught me reality
We were too young, she said
We were too immature to handle a relationship
That’s true in a lot of ways, but..
we can go on if we just have it a try
A try to continue and learn from each other
What can i do? She already decided to depart
Time has passed, I asked myself:
Are you still bitter? or getting better?
How will you know?
Now there is this one special girl
She showed me how a girl turns down a suitor
What if it’s my turn to be her suitor?
I don’t wanna be turned down
Am I going to tell her how special she is to me?
I’m confused. I have to stop..
Do i have to stop? I’m confused.
Maybe she has a lot of suitors.
Just let them be hers
I know I’m already getting better from the first
I might go bitter again If I let this feeling stay
I have to stop before I asked myself again:
Are you still bitter? or already getting better?
How will you know?

if I ask you now Jasper,
Are you still bitter, or getting better?
Is there a continuation?
hahahaha:) lablab!♥


Now that I’ve read it again, I’m thinking of making a continuation. I’m not really sure if it would be a better one since I’m into hatred these past few days so I will have to neutralize myself first. I have to gather good memories first. And the most important of all, I will have to try to get the feeling again. The feeling that makes me shiver and make my knees start to quiver. That old sweet sensation in my heart pumping blood so hard that you could hear it – dug dug, dug dug, dug dug, dug dug.


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